Hello you, and welcome to inside the mind of an Obsessive Compulsive Designer
Today’s blog is going to be more of a wordy post about a topic not discussed much (at least not where I am from). This Wedding Wednesday post is dedicated towards choosing between a traditional vs a non-traditional wedding. This topic has been on my mind for quite some time and I thought it was time to put it all down in writing for those of you who have the same mind set as I do.
To me, when I think traditional wedding, I think of a chapel ceremony then retiring off to a large venue with those awful ceiling drapes and multi-colored lighting. Food buffet as far as the eye can see. A cake that stands taller than you (even in those gorgeous heels you spent way too much money on). With all your friends and family (that weird second cousin you’ve met twice in your life, your mom’s aunt that you met when you were 18 months old but are obligated to know their name, and all the friends you’ve promised to invite along the way).
When I got engaged, that was the wedding I started planning. I made arrangements and signed contracts. I absolutely LOVE planning so I was a nonstop machine, checking things off of my to-do list left and right! Until, one day I sat down with my fiancé and we started talking about what we envisioned from our “big day”. That’s when I/we realized. Why in the world was I planning this big traditional wedding? We aren’t flashy people. We can’t hold a smile or conversation that long with so many different people. We weren’t even fans of larger crowds. So, why?
At that point we both realized that the wedding we were planning, wasn’t ours. Lots of calls and cancelled contracts later we finally had a sigh of relief. By this time, we had already been engaged for a year and a half (yes we were initially planning on a long engagement) and were over waiting. We wanted to get married now! We sent out the bat signal to our family members and a few close friends and decided to get married almost immediately.
Can I just tell you how many people were taken aback by our non-traditional ways? I can’t tell you how many people asked if we were pregnant, if we were moving, etc. For some reason, people couldn’t just wrap their minds around the fact that this style was more our personality. But once my fiancé and I had talked more openly to everyone about why we changed it and how we felt about the whole ordeal, suddenly everyone understood and everyone said that this smaller wedding “seems more our style”. Why was it that no one understood our decision before explaining our thoughts? If it was “so us”, why was their question at all? If everyone knew a small wedding was more our pace, why did no one throw up a red flag and say, “Guys, I really think you really need to think about planning a smaller wedding!” Because going smaller is not the norm nowadays.
When it was all said and done, our small wedding cost us less than (or at least as much as) JUST the venue for the larger event. (Yeah, not joking. That’s how disgustingly expensive weddings are.) Now that our big day has come and gone, I can confidently tell you that we had an even better time than I previously thought possible with the big event. The smaller intimate ceremony allowed us to feel more comfortable talking about our feelings in front of other people (which neither of us are too keen on). And having the smaller reception let us have a blast with some of our favorite people. We were able to spend more time with everyone than have to constantly make rounds to talk to every.single.person. I think the guests enjoyed themselves more as well. A more laidback smaller setting allowed our guests to feel more comfortable as well. It really seemed like a big party instead of making it into this big formality.
I wish my fiancé and I had sat down months prior to starting the planning. I’d be lying if I said that societal norms didn’t take control of my subconscious as I went through the motions of planning a larger wedding. So, I urge you brides out there to sit down with your partner and really think and imagine your big day. Planning A wedding is so much different than planning YOUR wedding. Once we envisioned bits and pieces of what we saw our day looking like, the decision was simple. My point is, learn from our mistake. Take your time to run through what you, as a couple, see your day looking like. What you both feel comfortable with. Everything always works out. Happy wedding planning to you all!
*All pictures were taken by Capture Life Portraits. Stay tuned to see more!